Let myself down

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How could this be explained ? Perhaps there cannot be any explanation of how I insulted myself and let myself go down . I used to have a dignified demeanour but by being attenuated by my own overwhelming emotions, I literally showed up a maudlin expression and disdained my own image :( :( :( :( :( .Or Why should one be held liable for everything wrong . May be the circumstances and destiny should be held liable. Then it might not be I who let myself down !!!!!! What so ever be the thing but at last its I who was let down. 

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